Middle income family? Yes. I am from middle income family and it was hard to continue my degree with our current situation. But my parents, heart of gold. They let me study, with one condition.

‘Go, we pay for the first semester, then for the next semester? You figure it out on your own’

So, I grab that opportunity. But how will I pay for the next semester?. YES!! Correct!! I made study loan. (yaaa.. the famous one, PTPTN). So basically, the first semester fully funded my dad, the second semester funded through the education loan I made. BUT. I am not satisfied with it, because I have made the same loan before for my diploma. I don’t think bury yourself with debt will be good for the future. I need to do something.

So, I made the decision through shower after shower (Ya. I made good decision in bathroom) haha. I need to step up the game. Guess what was my resolution?

I NEED TO GET GOOD CGPA THIS SEMESTER, THEN APPLY FOR SCHOLARSHIP.

The earth, the demon, the fishes, all reptiles and amphibians.. all laughing at my resolution. Haha. Dumb. How a person who loves sleep so much can do THAT good in her studies? LOL. Not going to happen.

BUT.

I breathe in, and out (like other living things), gather myself together and recognize my enemy.

My enemy who let me sleep all day.

My enemy who let me watch movies all day without doing any revision.

Sleep, eat, sleep, eat.

WHO??

That enemy is ME. Okay this is war. I will fight myself to get that CGPA and most important that scholarship. So, the first factor that I need work on is TIME. So I reduce the amount of time I sleep, I watch movies and other fun things. Instead I replace it with the most boring activities on earth which are REVISION,STUDY, DOING ASSIGNMENT.

So the biggest questions? Is it working? Can I reduce the fun time?

YES. I can. Difficult, but I did. How?. Simple word. “REALIZATION”

 

I realized my parents work days and night for me.

I realized by getting the scholarship, I can reduce the burden of my parents.

I realized by getting the scholarship, I be able to reduce MYSELF from all the debt.

I realized by getting that good CGPA, it might help me secure a good job in future.

 

The REALIZATION of where I stand made me able to reduce the fun time. I still watch movies, drama and sleep BUT after I settled with all the important stuff.

Behold!! Here comes the final exams week. Ughhh.. I need good sleep, I need good grades. I can do this. At least that what I kept telling myself. Haha. Every single papers I need to attend, I study hard for it. (well.. more like smart and hard). So the final exam weeks ended. I went home, then 1 and half months passed just like that. Very fast.

**tutt..tutt* (I own no smartphone at that moment. Couldn’t afford 1. Haha)

My friend called.

‘Have you checked your email today?. The result is coming out today’.

*play cool*

‘O ya.. I will checked later. Thanks..’

Do you really think we ended the call after I said ‘thanks’?. Haha. Nope. The phone call lasts forever but we don’t discuss the result, we gossiping. That what best friends do right?. Haha.

So, after dinner with my family. I reach for my laptop, and log in to my email. Hands all sweaty, heart running, breathe escalating.. loading.. loading… loading.. There it is! Email from university. So I click to read the email..

***Drumroll***

I read the email.. *scroll down*..6 subjects..*scroll down* Pass. Pass. Pass. Pass. Pass. Pass. Alhamdullilah.. all pass. But what about the CGPA??! *scroll down*

3.75/4.00

YES!! YES!! YES!! I DID IT! (I scream silently. I don’t want the neighbors to complain)

I AM ELIGIBLE TO APPLY FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP!!

Boo ya demons, all amphibians, all reptiles! I did it! Haha.

So I deliver the good news to my mom and dad. I saw something that I wish I can record and play it again and again so that I can look at that smile, the twinkle in their eyes forever. They smile and said..

‘Congratulations! We know you can do it’.

*************************************************************************************

Someone said ‘Your narrative is your narrative’. And this is my story how I changed myself in order to provide myself with better financial for my studies and help reduce the burden of my parents. I want to highlight on how I started. I started with recognizing my NEEDS, the HOW and my ENEMY to reach it.

Need:  I humbly accept that I come from middle family, and I need support in terms of financial for my education.

How: Get that good CGPA to get the scholarship

Enemy: Myself. (summary: a person who had too much fun. More than she needed) haha.

So, after all that, do I get the scholarship? I will write about that journey in my next post.

 

p/s Mind share your biggest changes you do to your life that makes your life better? ;

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